Not how much we love it, but how much he hates it.
Friday, 4 September 2009 11:06![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
druidspellSo, this is a public entry [which is potentially triggering in regard to rape]. *waves to the public* I haven't made one of these for fun in a while--it's been a fannish "These things I find unacceptable" type of year for public posts. (I promise, my next public post will be a meme or a quiz!)
Unfortunately, this is not going to be a fun post; this is going to be a post addressing things I find unacceptable in fandom right now. (It's motivated by this post by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seperis, which she wrote in reaction to this VERY NSFW and POSSIBLY TRIGGERY piece of protest art. (SERIOUSLY UNSAFE FOR WORK, PEOPLE.) alchemia made that photo manip of Ogi Ogas engaged in some rousing tentacle sex as a reaction to SurveyFail.
Bullet Points!
SurveyFail
Let me explain. ... No, is too long. Let me sum up:
*Drs. Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam are writing a book called "Rule 34: What Netporn Teaches Us About the Brain." Despite the book's release date being in 2010, they are apparently just starting their research. In the course of their research, they revealed themselves as homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, misogynist, willfully ignorant, condescending shitheads who are bad scientists with bad methodology, little to no grasp of the ethics of research involving human subjects, and no desire to truly learn from their mistakes and the valuable information and insight fandom was willing to offer them.
Protests!
*In protest of their treatment of the members of our community, some fen have decided to educate these two "researchers" about certain rules of fandom: 1) "Don't Mess With Slashers, for You Are Cute and Look Good With Other Men" (warnings for Real Person Slash) (here, here, and a poem that is not slashy but is lolarious here; and 2) "Fuck Not With Fandom: Fandom Fucks Back, and You Can Forget About the Lube" (the aforementioned protest art that is still NSFW).
My Reaction
Time for an anecdote.
When I was in high school there was a guy in my class who was openly, outrageously, fabulously gay. (I went to Catholic school; this was revolutionary.) We were friendly for the most part, and we had the same group of friends. Around the middle of junior year, he wronged me, in a major and deeply personal way. I felt violated, and I was in a towering fury. And so in revenge, I (and another acquaintance who wasn't involved otherwise) printed out personal ads for men seeking men, wrote salacious messages on them, and taped them to the inside of his locker so that he'd be sure to see them.
I'll give you some time to process that: I'm a lesbian, and a slasher, and I deliberately sought out a way to punish him for hurting me that would attack him where he was already vulnerable as a gay man in a religious school in a way that I myself was vulnerable to attack. I purposefully used a method that society used to hurt both of us with the intention to hurt him, even though it pissed/pisses me the fuck off when anyone else did/does it to me, or to him for that matter.
Does it matter that I was sorry for it after? Does it matter that to the acquaintance I roped into it thought it was a funny joke? Does it matter that I'm still so ashamed of it I sometimes wish I had his phone number so I could call him up and apologize? Does it matter that he never knew it was me?
Membership in fandom gives us a lot of freedom on the internet. It gives us space to talk seriously about our lives, our pain, our joy, our thoughts on all matter of things. It gives us the ability to share our kinks, our squicks, our fantasies, and fandom gives us the ability to do all of those things and write them or draw them or vid them or meta them and share them with other like-minded people. The best of fandom is a way for a lot of us to accept ourselves, our sexuality, our kinks, and see those things as beautiful and good instead of shameful and perverted. And while tentacles aren't really my thing, there is nothing wrong with them, or with writing or drawing or vidding tentacle porn.
For me, what the protest art does is not the best of fandom that lets us share our kinks and fantasies in a way that is about mutual pleasure and happiness. For me, that manip makes me feel squidgy inside, and not in a nice way, in a way that makes me feel like my heart is beneath my feet and my stomach is crawling up my esophagus.
seperis said it best, I think, in reply to a comment to her entry: "I--and this will seem to contradict earlier statements--don't much care if his wee feelings were hurt or he cries into his pillow. Part of me thinks this is hysterical and deliciously deserved, but that part of me gets zero airtime if I can help it because of the medium of sex was used as the weapon of choice. My personal feeling that he can fuck himself slams up against kink is awesome and why are you taking something I get off on and using it like this. It's sharing what we love in a way that has nothing to do with how much we love it, but how much he hates it." (original comment)
ETA 09/04/2009 16:25: I did not at first put up a warning that this was triggery. *headesk* No can brain, have teh dum, plz forgive.
Anyway, as always, it is Defriending Amnesty Day around here all day, every day, including weekends and bank holidays. If what I've said is offensive to you, feel free to defriend me.
Unfortunately, this is not going to be a fun post; this is going to be a post addressing things I find unacceptable in fandom right now. (It's motivated by this post by
seperis, which she wrote in reaction to this VERY NSFW and POSSIBLY TRIGGERY piece of protest art. (SERIOUSLY UNSAFE FOR WORK, PEOPLE.) alchemia made that photo manip of Ogi Ogas engaged in some rousing tentacle sex as a reaction to SurveyFail.Bullet Points!
SurveyFail
Let me explain. ... No, is too long. Let me sum up:
*Drs. Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam are writing a book called "Rule 34: What Netporn Teaches Us About the Brain." Despite the book's release date being in 2010, they are apparently just starting their research. In the course of their research, they revealed themselves as homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, misogynist, willfully ignorant, condescending shitheads who are bad scientists with bad methodology, little to no grasp of the ethics of research involving human subjects, and no desire to truly learn from their mistakes and the valuable information and insight fandom was willing to offer them.
Protests!
*In protest of their treatment of the members of our community, some fen have decided to educate these two "researchers" about certain rules of fandom: 1) "Don't Mess With Slashers, for You Are Cute and Look Good With Other Men" (warnings for Real Person Slash) (here, here, and a poem that is not slashy but is lolarious here; and 2) "Fuck Not With Fandom: Fandom Fucks Back, and You Can Forget About the Lube" (the aforementioned protest art that is still NSFW).
My Reaction
Time for an anecdote.
When I was in high school there was a guy in my class who was openly, outrageously, fabulously gay. (I went to Catholic school; this was revolutionary.) We were friendly for the most part, and we had the same group of friends. Around the middle of junior year, he wronged me, in a major and deeply personal way. I felt violated, and I was in a towering fury. And so in revenge, I (and another acquaintance who wasn't involved otherwise) printed out personal ads for men seeking men, wrote salacious messages on them, and taped them to the inside of his locker so that he'd be sure to see them.
I'll give you some time to process that: I'm a lesbian, and a slasher, and I deliberately sought out a way to punish him for hurting me that would attack him where he was already vulnerable as a gay man in a religious school in a way that I myself was vulnerable to attack. I purposefully used a method that society used to hurt both of us with the intention to hurt him, even though it pissed/pisses me the fuck off when anyone else did/does it to me, or to him for that matter.
Does it matter that I was sorry for it after? Does it matter that to the acquaintance I roped into it thought it was a funny joke? Does it matter that I'm still so ashamed of it I sometimes wish I had his phone number so I could call him up and apologize? Does it matter that he never knew it was me?
Membership in fandom gives us a lot of freedom on the internet. It gives us space to talk seriously about our lives, our pain, our joy, our thoughts on all matter of things. It gives us the ability to share our kinks, our squicks, our fantasies, and fandom gives us the ability to do all of those things and write them or draw them or vid them or meta them and share them with other like-minded people. The best of fandom is a way for a lot of us to accept ourselves, our sexuality, our kinks, and see those things as beautiful and good instead of shameful and perverted. And while tentacles aren't really my thing, there is nothing wrong with them, or with writing or drawing or vidding tentacle porn.
For me, what the protest art does is not the best of fandom that lets us share our kinks and fantasies in a way that is about mutual pleasure and happiness. For me, that manip makes me feel squidgy inside, and not in a nice way, in a way that makes me feel like my heart is beneath my feet and my stomach is crawling up my esophagus.
seperis said it best, I think, in reply to a comment to her entry: "I--and this will seem to contradict earlier statements--don't much care if his wee feelings were hurt or he cries into his pillow. Part of me thinks this is hysterical and deliciously deserved, but that part of me gets zero airtime if I can help it because of the medium of sex was used as the weapon of choice. My personal feeling that he can fuck himself slams up against kink is awesome and why are you taking something I get off on and using it like this. It's sharing what we love in a way that has nothing to do with how much we love it, but how much he hates it." (original comment)ETA 09/04/2009 16:25: I did not at first put up a warning that this was triggery. *headesk* No can brain, have teh dum, plz forgive.
Anyway, as always, it is Defriending Amnesty Day around here all day, every day, including weekends and bank holidays. If what I've said is offensive to you, feel free to defriend me.
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